Create a safe space for sorrow

Yesterday was mostly a shitshow of a day. I wanted to be, needed to be angry for just a while about all of things that went terribly wrong. As I scrolled through my list of usual suspects to call to complain about my life’s problems, I decided to call an old friend that I hadn’t spoken to in a long time. I had no idea how much God was at play in ordering my steps to her.  In that moment, we were both needing to let some things off our chests. We needed to unload. We needed to get it all out. Eventually, we both began to profusely apologize to the other for not talking in so long and then talking about everything negative. In that moment, something clicked in my head. We create safe spaces to share joy all the time. Social media is one big “look at how joy-filled my life is!” But, we also need to create safe spaces for our friends to peel off the facade and get dirty with the truth. The not pretty truth. The not filtered through an Instagram filter truth. The “wow sis, I’m sorry you’re going through that” truth. Have you ever found out late that a friend went through a trauma and asked “Why didn’t you call me?” Did you stop to ask yourself if you are a safe space for a person in trauma? As a people, we’ve become so accustomed to the glossy photo that we don’t see the forced smiles underneath. Bad days happen. Bad moments happen. What is the point of friends if we can’t share the good times and bad with them? True friends see the wholeness of your humanity and will love you through the pain.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *